Merton Eagles - So Fat Controller, is it true you're 100?

Clinton Curate - No I haven't quite got to that ripe old age just yet, though at times I do feel like it!

 

Merton Eagles - Well we were basing it on appearance anyway! Now that you're well and truly over the hill, what's it like getting up at midday on a Sunday afternoon?

Clinton Curate - Wish I could get up at that time of the day mate, but I still have to work and the trains dont stop just so that I can have a lie in on a Sunday morning.

 

ME - Really?? What is the reason why they're always late then? Bring us up to date on the injury that robbed the game of your "Skills"?

CC - It was pretty innocuous really. As you so eloquently put it we were playing against a bunch of kids, I chased a ball back with their forward (I did get there first by the way) turned him and twisted my knee, felt it lock and that was it. Had an operation in March to rectify it, a screw in my knee from a previous operation had worked loose and it was removed and a ligament was re-tightened but age has finally caught up with me, as the knee isnt strong enough for playing football.

 

ME - Sounds a bit like an excuse to me! Are you trying to take over Steve's mantle as best injury to a player? His broken toenail will take some beating! Is this an old injury from your youth come back to haunt you?

CC - Yep I originally had a knee reconstruction in 1993 after playing 18 years previously with only a broken ankle (keeping me out of a cup final) the only real injury I'd had up until then.

 

ME - Are the missus and kids pleased with the extra quality time with pops?

CC - Absolutely when I'm not working, my PS2 gets a serious hammering now as well

 

ME - I'm sure if we asked your wife that question we'd get a completely different answer! How are you handling missing out on the action?

CC - It's an absolute pain in the ar*e, not being able to get out there and show up the youngsters is a real drag as I feel I could probably play another season or two.

 

ME - Well quite. Let's agree to disagree there! You've been asked to take on a coaching role with the Eagles, you must feel pretty honoured?

CC - I certainly do as it shows you are wanted and that someone thinks you have knowledge to pass on to others, its also a good way of keeping in the game.

 

ME - OR, it could be that no one else was prepared to take the job on? Looking at the players in the squad now as opposed to when you first joined, how would you say the current bunch fare?

CC - I've only really seen the new bunch of players that came in this season in training and not in a match (work commitments), but they do look pretty good. When I joined the team it was definitely in a transitional period and in need of an old head. The nucleus of the side has grown up and suffered some bad results, but it has made them stronger as each year went on. We are now a very good side with a vastly improved defence and deserve to be in the top division, so I think it's made it a bit easier for newer players to integrate into the team and our style of play.

 

ME - Any thoughts on your replacements?

CC - See above, I'll give you a better answer when I've seen them playing a few times

 

ME - It's generally accepted that this squad is the best that the Eagles have had and apart from 2 or 3 of the vet's, the average age is around the early 20s. With two or three of the vets on the long term injury list, do you think the Eagles will suffer from the lack of experience on the pitch?

CC - A good number of our players have been together for 2-3 years and will have gained experience so the newer players can look to them on the pitch and to us on the sidelines for help.

 

ME - Still looking at the quality in these current players, it must be said that the Eagles are overdue a trophy win! What do you see is the problem? Besides Nick.

CC - Some of our problems were scoring goals, finishing teams off and consistency in our performances, and the Manager not playing me up front I was a forward who scored 102 goals in 5 seasons (sorry Matt I had to get that in).(Matt - At this point I should point out that I was top goal scorer for 4 years in a row playing as a left winger with over 20 goals per season so that old chestnut counts for nothing!). We will need to be a lot more consistent in the top division & will have to raise our game 2 or 3 levels to compete with some teams, we've done it before when playing against Shed Bar. Cut out the petty arguing between ourselves when things don't go our way, you play as a team and you win, lose or draw as a team. There is nothing better for the opposition then seeing a team bickering amongst themselves.

 

ME - Having come close to that place in the Final that the Eagles keep failing to achieve, you must still be haunted by that own goal by Nick in the last minute of extra time in the semi final that eventually led to us being knocked out! Talk us through that moment from your perspective?

CC - It's a bit hazy except one particular moment but as I remember they played a ball over the top. I chased with their nippy forward, our keeper came out managed to get a save in & the ball went out to the wing I'd positioned myself a couple of yards out from the goal line when the ball was played back in, I half turned ready to put my boot through the ball and send it onto the A3 when Nick in his infinite wisdom decided to leather it past me and into our goal off the post (Ed - Both posts!), the twat. In hindsight I should've called my ball as I was in a better position and put him as well as the ball onto the A3.

 

ME - There's been a quite a change of players over the years from the sublime (Peanut) to the ridiculous (Alec). Whos been the best player youve played with for the Eagles?

CC - For talent that has to be Luke

 

ME - And the worst?

CC - I wouldn't like to make a call on that one.

 

ME - So, they must still be in the squad then!! I'll assume you don't mean me! Now Marc wasn't allowed to get away with this type of answer, so neither are you. Remember, the worst player you've played with could have in fact improved dramatically, so don't worry about hurting peoples feelings. In fact, hurt away, it makes it funnier for the rest of us!

CC - OK, hard one to call but Neil "the giraffe" Belton, just shades it.

 

ME - There's been very few unsavoury moments in the Eagles history, excluding James bowel movements before each match, but the Eagles recently had their legendary spirit rocked by a bust up in the camp. A player who shall remain nameless, well call him Luke B, no, L Bellord, famously walked off the pitch after an alleged bust up over the colour of his nail polish. Back in your day how would these antics have been dealt with?

CC - If he decided to turn up for a game with bloody nail polish on hed deserve all the abuse he got & then dumped in the nearest mud hole fully clothed, failing that a fully clothed cold shower. We didn't piss about then, we were a pretty successful team & anyone upsetting the balance of the squad were severely dealt with and made to see the error of his ways.

 

ME - The ironic thing is there's plenty of players we wished would walk off! The Eagles management usual tactic is to ignore said player until they finally get the point and stop turning up. Now you've joined the ranks do you have a preferred method?

CC - Tell them their sh*t and that they are not needed they only way they'll get a game is if we are desperate, so piss off, short & sweet.

 

ME - Unfortunately that method could interfere with the fund raising methods we currently employ! Where would be without Daryl and Pauls £50 each year!! This season is really the first time the Eagles have had proper structured training, a reflection of the seriousness with which the management is treating the first season in the top division. Can you let us in on any of your plans for the Eagles over the rest of the season?

CC - Improve training with the help of the new coach you got hold of with the aim of creating and putting more chances away, create a really good squad atmosphere and get down to more matches whenever possible

 

ME - OK and with those goals in mind, how do you see this season panning out? Champs or chumps?

CC - Realistically a mid table finish would be good going seeing as this is our first time in the top flight plus getting into a final would be fitting for all the effort over the last few seasons

 

ME - Finally for now, as you tried to wuss out of naming the crappest player we've had, is there any one player you think the Eagles can't do without?

CC - Yep our skipper Gavin, always puts 100% into every game and lifts all around him with his desire & commitment, even when he is blowing his top at half the midfield.

 

And there you have it Ladies and Gents! The fine thoughts and feelings of Clinton. Only time will tell whether his appointment as coach will be as foolish as Alec as a wing back!